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All About Venus

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Venus is known as the planet of relationship. Most people who know about Venus in astrology know it plays an important role in love. This is true, but the word relating isn't just about another person. We are using our Venus when we are relating to something and/or someone. We want to feel connected. When we are relating to something, Venus known as the planet of beauty comes in. We find something beautiful because of how it makes us feel, therefore we are relating to it. Venus seeks to make things pleasant for us by soothing us with beauty, and thereby calm us down and make us happy.


When we are relating to someone, Venus known as the planet of love comes in. Where Venus is in our chart can tell us what we find attractive and how we go about attracting someone to ourselves. When you want to feel attractive, what do you do? How do you dress, act, and speak? Your Venus traits also tell you something about your attitude about love, how you behave in love, what you are willing and not willing to give, what you need in a partner and what you bring to the relationship, any relationship, romantic or otherwise. When you have a good Venus connection with someone, there is simply a feeling of liking and being liked. Venus charms us.


When we are expressing our Venus in a healthy manner, we are establishing relationships that make us happy, that have a good balance of give and take, that lift us and our partners up. We feel loved and attractive. That doesn't mean if you aren't in a romantic relationship, that your Venus goes on vacation! Venus is how we relate to anyone at any time, not just established relationships, but also friends, or even making new friends or just talking with anyone. Venus exists to bring people together, in any way she can, and her goal is to make things harmonious so that can happen.


However, even the most beautiful planet has a low road. When we express our Venus in an unhealthy way, beauty and sincerity are replaced by fakeness and manipulation. Laziness creeps in and we become too dependent on feeling good without the balance of effort and improvement. We become addicted to pleasure without real joy, sensuality without real relationship development, the facade of pleasantry without truth. Beauty and ease without truth or love takes us down the dark path.


Here's a small and imperfect Venus 'cookbook'. Find your Venus sign and house for a snippet about your natal chart. If you don't know where your Venus is, you can create a free chart here and find out! Remember, anything taken out of context of the entire blend of your natal chart is like an ingredient in a dish without the other ingredients to add nuance and complexity. Digest these ingredients with a grain of salt, so to speak!


Venus in Aries

Beneficial relationships in your life will bring heat and passion–they boil your blood in a good way.  Ideally, your partner is someone who can express and handle strong emotions — timid and stuffy types are likely to frustrate and bore you. You need someone who can keep up with you.  You find high energy and confidence attractive.  You attract others by initiating some sort of challenge to them, even if it’s unspoken — there’s something about you that says you would be not just a date but an adventure.  Avoid the Venusian detour by keeping your confrontational tendencies in check.  It is not for you to be stagnant or keep things bottled up, but avoid picking a fight just to feel the heat.


Venus in Taurus

Beneficial relationships in your life will bring a sense of serenity and stability.  You are attracted to people who understand the finer things in life, the simple pleasures–people whom you can just ‘be’ with.  You need relationships with people who are really comfortable with themselves, both in body and mind.  Others are attracted to you because there seems to be something about you that is soothing and radiates calm. There’s a naturalness to you that others find appealing–you might have been told that you are very ‘laid-back. Avoid the Venusian detour of sacrificing growth for predictability, becoming too attached to routine. You might find that the flame of your relationship has gone out completely if left unattended and unchanging too long.


Venus in Gemini

Beneficial relationships in your life will expand your mind, allow you to explore your curiosity and experience things without boundaries or too many rules.  You attract others with your wit and your flirtatious personality–you can talk to someone for hours and never run out of things to say with your font of knowledge.  You are attracted to others who seem to be ravenous for experience and a curiosity to rival your own.  Your ideal partner is someone who is open, friendly, and witty. But please, no boredom, otherwise they might find your eye wandering.  However, avoid the Venusian detour of letting restlessness exclusively rule your life and interest in anything. Sometimes it takes some time and effort to renew a relationship, but don’t assume the well is dry and start playing the field again just to get a fix.


Venus in Cancer

Beneficial relationships in your life will feel deeply healing, as if you have come home. You need someone you can take refuge in, not someone you need protection from, as well as someone who is patient enough for you to open slowly to them as trust grows.  Once that trust has grown, a relationship with you is a daily exercise in play and imagination.  You attract others by showing how protective and tender you can be.  You are attracted to people who seem to have a kindness and compassion about them; people who come across as aggressive or callous are ones to avoid. You show others you love them by taking care of them in some way.  Call you at 2 am when your best friend just got dumped? Yes!  You take care of the heart.  Watch for the Venusian detour of caring so much for another that you forget to take care of yourself–and be especially careful about rationalizing your reasons for doing so.


Venus in Leo

Beneficial relationships for you will bring a sense of joy and spontaneity to your life.  You need someone you can play with, someone who brings with them the sense that you can be as goofy as you like, just celebrate life and living and don’t sweat the small stuff.  You are attracted to someone who is not afraid to be seen, and who doesn’t mind riding the roller coaster that is life.  You make yourself attractive to someone through sheer charisma!  You want to shine for others, get noticed, you like a little drama and playfulness — let the entertainment begin!  You aren’t a performing monkey, however; in love, you just want an atmosphere where it is safe to show what’s in your heart — creativity is all about expressing what you find beautiful about yourself.  In love, you want to adore and be adored, full speed ahead with the passion and the lust for life (and each other!)  Avoid the Venusian detour of the high maintenance, prima donna complex; share the stage and applaud your partner sometimes too.


Venus in Virgo

Beneficial relationships in your life will be ones that allow you to grow. You are naturally inclined to improve on yourself, and on any relationships you are involved in.  Ideally, you should have people in your life that understand that and desire that as well, and are humble enough to do so.  You are attracted to people that take care of themselves, physically, mentally, and spiritually. You attract others by making yourself indispensable to them, by showing them how much better life is with you and how helpful you are.  In your quest for perfection, avoid the Venusian detour of insanely high expectations of people (including yourself!).  It’s easy with your discerning eye to pick out what’s wrong with your loved one, but often Virgos criticize because they are twice as hard on themselves.  Temper your drive with humility, compassion, and patience.


Venus in Libra

Beneficial relationships for you are based on kindness and consideration for each other. Crude, confrontational, and tactless types are not for you. You attract others to you with your grace and charm.  You like people that are aware of the sensitive space between two people and how to relate to each other in a manner that is pleasing to both of you. You are attracted to people that have a sense of romance, of old fashioned courting traditions based on courtesy and respect.  Avoid the Venusian detour of adapting to your partner too much.  There will be differences even between the best of friends and lovers, and while it is important to put yourself in your partner’s shoes to understand them, take care you remember whose shoes are whose!  Don’t avoid having those confrontations that need to be had to resolve the issues around your differences.  A pretty smile and a cold heart will kill the relationship for both of you.


Venus in Scorpio

Beneficial relationships for you are those relationships where each of you can be honest, real, and deeply human together.  You need those people in your life that won’t bull shit you and won’t take any in return; both of you committed to the idea of exploring your deeper selves (even the ugly, scary, crazy parts) and having a safe and nonjudgmental environment in which to bring those truths out.  You are attracted to people with some depth, something smoldering underneath the surface.  You like people who are ‘real’, no pretense but also no superficiality.  You make yourself attractive to others by your sexuality and your mystery.  Avoid the Venusian detour of brutality.  You have a passion and intensity that is consuming, and it’s easy to burn someone up who has chosen to stand next to you.  Not everyone is ready to be psychologically stripped at a moment’s notice.


Venus in Sagittarius

Beneficial relationships for you will invite you to explore the world, and they will be anything but boring or ‘safe’.  Movie on a Saturday night or rock climbing on Sunday afternoon?  If you are a Venus in Sagittarius person, you’re probably already strapped in and ready to go up that cliff!  You are attracted to people who have the spirit of adventure, and are just interested in having a great time in life. You attract people easily with your aura of friendliness and optimism. You are tolerant and open to new experiences and new people, which makes it pretty easy to get along with you.  Avoid the Venusian detour of being too blindly trusting.  You tend to think the best of people, but sometimes the signs need to be read if your partner is not for you; too much naiveté can hurt. 


Venus in Capricorn

Beneficial relationships for you are relationships where you can be a grown-up.  You need someone with integrity and maturity, someone who knows how to commit to something, who isn’t flighty, fake, or flaky. You are attracted to people who are confident and accomplished — I say accomplished because you are attracted to people you can respect and one of the things you can respect are people who know how to work for what they want and achieve their goals.  You attract others to you that recognize you as a person with honor and wisdom.  You are not typically afraid of commitment to another person, whether it is in love or friendship.  With Venus in Capricorn, you are not overly dependent in love, but avoid the Venusian detour of too much selfcontrol and independence, to the point where closeness cannot be built or maintained with your love.


Venus in Aquarius

Beneficial relationships for you are the ones that allow a lot of personal freedom.  You must have your own individuality as uncompromised as possible. You are attracted to people who stand out from the sea of so-called normality.  People who think for themselves and aren’t afraid to make it known.  You attract others by giving them the sense that they can be as weird as they want to be around you because you are not shocked or judgmental by different behavior or ideas.  You like a little space and you give that space in your relationships as well.  Avoid the Venusian detour of giving a little too much space to your partner, causing them to feel that you are too detached and uncaring.  Take your own romantic inventory by acknowledging that fear that you might lose your individuality in a relationship.  While it’s a balancing act to be sure, you can find relationships that don’t require you to sacrifice who you are.


Venus in Pisces

Beneficial relationships for you are spiritual in nature (and I’m not talking about someone you must meet in church).  Ideally, your partner is someone who doesn’t restrict you with criticism and isn’t too practical to see the spirit and beauty in the world.  You are attracted to people who are romantic and creative, who are in touch with their spiritual side, however they might define it.  You attract others by showing them how imaginative and romantic you are.  You see the world through the eyes of magic, not so-called “reality,” and you draw people to you who are looking for that spark.  Something about you promises to take someone into the realm of dreaming.  You show your love for someone by your kindness — you can be extremely giving, but avoid the Venusian detour of making yourself a martyr for someone else’s cause.  Sometimes you give so much up of yourself that you are empty, even when it was not asked of you. 



Venus in 1st house

Since the first house is how we present ourselves to the world, it is a cinch to say that you have an aura of grace and charm.  There is something very likable about you — you seem to relate well to others right away.  Venus goes awry here when sincerity is lost behind the mask of what you are trying to project: if you are not being yourself, then insincerity rules.  The lessons you are learning about love and relationship center around your very self.  You are learning just how much space you really need to take up in your own life and in a relationship.  Therefore, the line between who you really are and who you appear to be will be one you’ll continually be exploring — and relationships will enter your life that bring that issue to the forefront.


Venus in 2nd house

The lessons you are learning about love and relationship center around issues of worth — specifically your own self-esteem and whether you draw people to you that strengthen or weaken that self-esteem.  Avoid the crutches of relationships in your life that seem to do everything for you, so you don’t have to take risks or chances, relationships that provide too much shelter to where you don’t need to build confidence in yourself because you have confidence in your partner.  DO embrace relationships that encourage your own personal strength and worth, relationships that allow you to grow with support, not being lead by the hand but someone who is encouraging.


Venus in 3rd house

The lessons you are learning about love and relationship center around communication issues — learning to listen to what another has to say, and learning to speak to them in a way that allows for mutual understanding.  For you, love is about expression, it cannot just be felt, it must be heard.  You have the ability to speak with grace and charm — your words may express your creativity and inner beauty best.  You have a gift for good communication and networking.  The Venus shadow can lead you down the path of a smooth-talker with nothing actually to say.  Use your power for good, not evil!


Venus in 4th house

The lessons you are learning about love center around home (the place and/or the feeling) being a key component.  For answers to your relationship issues, you must look to your own childhood and family dynamics.  You need to understand why you have the patterns in love that you do.  Whether the tools you were given in your family are healthy or unhealthy for you, you must seek them out and do the inner work to discover the ideas that you inherited and whether or not you want to keep them.  This will allow you to fulfill the needs of your Venus in this house: which is forming relationships that feel safe, that feel like family.  Shared domesticity is real beauty for you.


Venus in 5th house

Most of the beneficial relationships in your life, while not all of them last, teach you about the importance of joy and freedom and how love can bring that out in you.  Being creative relaxes and replenishes you — giving yourself freedom and permission to just let loose and see what comes out of your heart.  To establish or renew relationships in your life, you need someone to ask you to come out to play, someone who can show you who you are through their adoring eyes.  Venus goes awry in two different ways here.  The first is by being so afraid to give yourself over to the beauty of the moment that you reign yourself in too tightly, an inability to relax and let love flow.  The second is by being so caught up in the beauty of the moment that you never want to leave it — living your life with no thought for the future or the consequences of being so addicted to excitement and pleasure.  


Venus in 6th house

In your life, the most important relationships are the ones that you feel you are really learning from someone and perhaps teaching them, too.  Humility is your natural ally in love, because you know a relationship is a growing experience, and the key to lasting love is not easy to find.  Humility allows us to learn from our mistakes, learn from our partner, and them to learn from us to allow love to evolve. Tolerance and patience are also strong tools that you bring to the relationship table.  Avoid approaching love from the standpoint of duty.  While love requires work, it’s not meant to be work all the time.  If it’s your duty to love, but not your pleasure, you are out of balance.  Also, avoid taking too much or not enough accountability.  If everything in the relationship is either your fault or their fault, look again.


Venus in 7th house

The lessons you are learning about love center around partnership.  It takes two people working together to build a relationship, and that is best done if each of you is able tune into each other’s way of thinking, feeling, and seeing things.  A relationship based on equal sharing and equal commitment from each partner is needed to bring your Venus out into full glory.  Interdependency is the key word here.  For you, the dark road may be one in which your relationships are one sided with one partner bending too much — where you are experiencing either a high level of selfishness or a loss of identity, which creates an air of competitiveness rather than cooperation, and mistrust rather than understanding.


Venus in 8th house

The lessons you are learning about love center around deep and bonded intimacy — about really opening up deeply to your partner.  It’s not just about having a relationship based on equality — it is a step further.  It’s easy to be with someone when they are sane and in a good mood.  For you, relationships play out in the deeper realm of your psyche.  Your psychological issues are triggered by a partner who has entered your 8th house. You must establish relationships where there is truth and mutual surrender, where you can show the chaos and wounded-ness in your soul, where you can have a really bad day and be able to work it through with that person — and where you can do the same with them and their issues.  Your relationships need to have deep passion and bonded-ness due to relating and loving with your whole self, not just showing the pretty and sane parts.  Relationships in which you are not able to share this level of truth and vulnerability, passionless relationships, or relationships where you are not allowed to bring up the psychologically charged issues are not for you.


Venus in 9th house

The lessons you are learning about love center around expanding your perception and beliefs about how the world works.  It is common for people with this Venus placement to enter into relationships with people who are of very different backgrounds than them, because for you, beauty is found in the differences between people.  You feel happy and at peace when you are able to explore different belief systems and ways of life — you would probably benefit greatly from travel, which is a very natural and exciting way to expand your horizons.  Relationships may come into your life which challenge you in these ways.  You might also be challenged about your core beliefs regarding love and relationships!  Avoid trapping yourself with boredom.  You know it’s time to challenge yourself if you think you’ve got the rules of life all figured out.


Venus in 10th house

In your gift to the world (some people call this a ‘career’), you must incorporate your talents as an artist.  The  definition of an artist is not just someone who can paint or draw, but someone who recognizes beauty and can bring it out in themselves and their work.  Beauty can be found in any kind of skill; perhaps it’s your skills in relating to others through which you will express your creativity and create your life’s work day by day.  The common element here is that your heart is engaged — that some part of who you are is being expressed and released, the definition of creativity.  Venus goes awry here if you become so obsessed with status and reputation that you are not longer concerned with having your heart engaged, but only with beating the Joneses.


Venus in 11th house

The lessons you are learning about love may go beyond just one on one relationships.  The 11th house is where we reach out to community — not just in service, not as our job, but where we find our tribe, people that are like us and share the same dreams and goals that we do.  You may enjoy and relate to people who share your same creative tastes.  You might be a bit of a dreamer — someone who enjoys thinking about what good things will be coming your way in the future and how you are going to get those good things. Avoid getting involved with the wrong tribe — people who distract you instead of nourish and calm you.


Venus in 12th house

The lessons you are learning about love are even bigger than they were in the 11th house.  You are learning to love the world.  For you, love needs to become a religion.  The 12th house is the house that holds our soul’s thread — which is connected to all souls.   If that sounds a little hard to grasp, imagine a meditative state.  How you define that place, the quiet place when you can hear your heart beating and the beating heart of the universe, that is the place where you will find peace.  You can find it especially through the eyes of the souls of everyone around you, if you reach out to them in kindness.  When you are in this place, you can understand the flow and rhythm of life–things come into your life and they leave it.  Venus goes awry here by trying to hold on too long to a good thing and being too afraid to let it go.  Trust in the universe will bring you the most peace, but it takes some practice. 

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